First, I'm not really active in fic right now. I read one every few days, but I haven't seriously written anything in years. I'm working on that now, but it may be some time until I'm out there again. That being said, this conversation interests me and I want to throw in my two cents.
I think something that needs to be addressed in any sex guide is that not all people do all things. First and foremost the author should be very particular about figuring out who their characters are. Two authors can have vastly different views on characterization for anyone, but their stories need to show that they have a handle on who a character is and this includes sex. Possibly, sex is even more important to characterization than anything else. I think it speaks very deeply of a person to know what kind of sex they have versus what kind of non-sexual relationships they keep.
In the case of the sex itself I agree that trying to spell out all the ways people react to sex is a lousy idea. However, a proper introductory chapter illustrating that not everyone likes or reacts to everything the same way would work just fine. After all, this isn't a guide to HAVING sex. It's a guide to sex for stories. Sometimes, you just want to know how exactly putting tab A into slot B works and how it's usually pleasurable (or in some cases how it's usually not). I think, too, that links to enlightening sources on the various sexual acts would be a good inclusion.
I think that a lot of fanfic readers get ideas for their own sex lives from the stories they read and write. Therefore, it's helpful when the authors know at least the bare-bones basics of what they're writing about. I don't, however, think that people need to worry over-much about "getting it wrong." We're writing fantasy here, not non-fiction. The best romance novels are the ones that throw reality to the wind for four pages of ridiculous, mostly unbelievable smut. I mean, the reality of most of the sexual relationships I've had and known about is that sex has to be scheduled and planned and slaved over. If that's true for most, then the idea that two people are banging anywhere but in the comfort of their own home and bed is in and of itself over the top and unbelievable.
Porn just isn't sex - it's porn. You can ask any anyone - it just doesn't work like it does in the popular films (usually - I feel the need to caveat because there are always exceptions). If they were like real life, real life would either be a lot less boring or porn would be a lot more boring!
All of that being said, the only kind of sex I feel expert in is anal sex. I'd be happy to write up a response comment about it if anyone wants it, but it's one of the more easy things to research. :P
As for a question I'd like answered, does anybody NOT have a hard time with strap-ons? I find them hot to read about, but completely impractical in real life. They just never stay where I want them to. As I'd like to write about it in a fic, but want to come at it from both directions (heh, so to speak), I'd love to know others' experiences. Tips/tricks? LOL.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2010-05-02 02:33 am (UTC)I think something that needs to be addressed in any sex guide is that not all people do all things. First and foremost the author should be very particular about figuring out who their characters are. Two authors can have vastly different views on characterization for anyone, but their stories need to show that they have a handle on who a character is and this includes sex. Possibly, sex is even more important to characterization than anything else. I think it speaks very deeply of a person to know what kind of sex they have versus what kind of non-sexual relationships they keep.
In the case of the sex itself I agree that trying to spell out all the ways people react to sex is a lousy idea. However, a proper introductory chapter illustrating that not everyone likes or reacts to everything the same way would work just fine. After all, this isn't a guide to HAVING sex. It's a guide to sex for stories. Sometimes, you just want to know how exactly putting tab A into slot B works and how it's usually pleasurable (or in some cases how it's usually not). I think, too, that links to enlightening sources on the various sexual acts would be a good inclusion.
I think that a lot of fanfic readers get ideas for their own sex lives from the stories they read and write. Therefore, it's helpful when the authors know at least the bare-bones basics of what they're writing about. I don't, however, think that people need to worry over-much about "getting it wrong." We're writing fantasy here, not non-fiction. The best romance novels are the ones that throw reality to the wind for four pages of ridiculous, mostly unbelievable smut. I mean, the reality of most of the sexual relationships I've had and known about is that sex has to be scheduled and planned and slaved over. If that's true for most, then the idea that two people are banging anywhere but in the comfort of their own home and bed is in and of itself over the top and unbelievable.
I think a discussion on the difference between real sex and fic sex is one that I'd very much like to see. I'd say that most femslash authors who are women are writing about the kind of sex they want to have - the unbridled, unplanned, easy, passionate kind. Who wants to read about Alex Cabbot and Olivia Benson penciling in sex between a long work day and loads of casework. Sex that's probably going to be frustratingly difficult due to the amount of stress both women are under all the time (I don't know about most people, but achieving any kind of release while stressed is impossible for me). Instead, I'd rather read about them banging in the bathroom and getting off fast and easy because they lust for one another all day. (I don't lust for anyone all day, not even my super-hot fiancé. I've got too much to do!)
Porn just isn't sex - it's porn. You can ask any anyone - it just doesn't work like it does in the popular films (usually - I feel the need to caveat because there are always exceptions). If they were like real life, real life would either be a lot less boring or porn would be a lot more boring!
All of that being said, the only kind of sex I feel expert in is anal sex. I'd be happy to write up a response comment about it if anyone wants it, but it's one of the more easy things to research. :P
As for a question I'd like answered, does anybody NOT have a hard time with strap-ons? I find them hot to read about, but completely impractical in real life. They just never stay where I want them to. As I'd like to write about it in a fic, but want to come at it from both directions (heh, so to speak), I'd love to know others' experiences. Tips/tricks? LOL.